*Internal greatness*

So, in an attempt to achieve *internal greatness* and help me grow as a person I have been working on understanding myself emotionally and physically. Over the last three years or so I think I have managed to do quite well at this, and I have changed considerably in that time. My 21st year in particularly sparked a lot of changes and I feel proud at the person I’ve been able to become so far.

Of course – you change slightly anyway as you get older, have different life experiences and are influenced by the people around you. Some differences within myself would be down to such things… but also due to the conscious efforts I have made to evaluate my thoughts and put meaning to them. Now, I find it easy to deconstruct negative emotions or ideas and reconstruct how I think or feel about different things.

For my 22nd year, I’m still working on myself. Even in the last six months, I can feel differences in the way my mind works and how my emotions effect me. However, I am aware of my flaws and strive to change them. Everyone has flaws and that is what makes us human. But if…perhaps, your flaws are causing negative feelings for yourself or many people around you, there is enough reason to try and change them. Step one is recognising the flaw, which in itself may be a challenge!

No matter what, everyone makes mistakes. Whether that is forgetting to take the washing out, retaliating in an argument or hurting someone you love. Although being more self aware definitely reduces the mistakes you might make, this isn’t fool proof. As long as we accept that we have made a mistake, apologise when needed, learn and move on then it doesn’t make you a bad person.

One of my greatest flaws is that I can bottle up my thoughts and feelings. I don’t talk to anyone on a deep level about my emotions or what I think about things. I far prefer to think to myself and can usually resolve any problems I might have. Talking to people about my feelings or problems can make me feel much worse. But sometimes, my bottled up emotions have a tendency to explode at inappropriate times. I can highly react and feel extremely sad or hurt about something which realistically, doesn’t warrant such an emotive response. Therefore, I thought that maybe writing some thoughts and feelings down onto paper (or screen!) may be a good outlet.

My writings will be about focusing on self awareness, positivity, my thoughts on deeper topics and perhaps spirituality. Mainly for myself, although maybe others will find it useful!